How do you know if he truly loves you?
There are many many signs to look for… notably actions.
With a world today so ensconced in lustful instant gratification we may confuse that mindset with the slow simmering gradual growth of sweet love between a man and woman and be unable to differentiate the two. But with the conscious choice to pay particular attention to actions versus words…. we can find our way to what the truth is in the relationship we have with another… leading us to make the decision… is it really love and do we wish to stay… or is it anything but and it's time to part ways?
10 Signs He Truly Loves You:
1. He makes you feel safe… this is so incredibly important. If a woman doesn't feel safe with a man… it will never work. If he's constantly pushing boundaries with you, if he's always asking for more and more… if he's volatile toward you in any way either mentally, physically, emotionally, etc… if he's pressuring you for sex before your ready/before marriage… if he's not respectful toward you… if he lets other men mistreat you and doesn't speak up… if he doesn't look out for you simply because you're Christ's daughter, he's not loving you.
2. He owns up to his screw up… if he DOES screw up… he apologizes and without having to be prompted to. He sits down, faces you and admits he shouldn't have done x,y,z… (abuse gets no second chances, btw) and then explains how he's going to ensure that doesn't happen again. Then he sticks to it. Someone who isn't truly re-pentful will say he's sorry a million times but continue the negative behaviors. If his actions don't back up his words… they mean nothing. Look for changed behavior and a willingness to adhere to what he's promised you.
3. He tells you he loves you and is vulnerable with you… He tells you how he feels about you without prompting or questioning from you. No one should have to be begged to share how they feel about someone. He is forthright in his feelings toward you and it doesn't just include a physical attraction but a deep tender affection for your heart, soul and personality as well. He shares his own fears, hopes and dreams with you… he shares his past, his ugly, his beauty, his triumphs and his joys… nothing is off limits and each knows there is not judgment of the past but only a safe place to be with one another.
TRUE LOVE IS FRIENDSHIP
SET ON FIRE…
“Love is like a friendship caught on fire. In the beginning a flame, very pretty, often hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. As love grows older, our hearts mature and our love becomes as coals, deep-burning and unquenchable…" - Bruce Lee
4. He wants you to be comfortable with him… One of his desires should be for you to be comfortable enough with him to say: "No" to him (even if he doesn't like it) to be able to sit in comfortable silence with him… to be able to say exactly what is on your mind laced with tact and graceful love… he should want you to have the ability to be your complete and honest, authentic, genuine self with him at all times… and if he's expecting someone else… he's not for you… love doesn't include being a doormat or not yourself.
First act of love was
Finding myself again
The hardest thing to do
Was standing up to you
5. He puts you first… right after Christ. He should be praying for you daily… and for guidance in his relationship with you. His priority should be to love you with actions that reflect Christ's love for you… he may desire you with all his heart but if you come on too strongly physically in the heat of the moment he should step back… out of love and tell you "No" and draw a line. He should be direct and tell you: "We aren't having sex until were married" and then stick to it. (and vice versa) Everyone has temptation, even Christians… but both individuals must stand strong in our love for Christ and remain in obedience for our bodies are sacred.
6. He's always honest… He never ever lies to you. Better to hurt me with the truth than hurt me with a lie… betrayal is the worst thing we can endure without a doubt… especially when it comes to someone who we trusted and gave our heart to. That's why it's so incredibly important that if we ever discover a partner lying to us… the very first time… that's a sign to leave. (Whether man or woman… dishonesty should never be tolerated… and cheating comes under the umbrella of lying… you can't cheat without lying)
She'll lie and steal and cheat,
and beg you from her knees
Make you think she means it this time
She'll tear a hole in you,
the one you can't repair
"Stubborn Love" The Lumineers
7. He sees your beauty… He sees your beauty not just when done up to the nines but in the everyday… not just how alluring you look dressed when up to go out but also in how you wrinkle your nose when you sniff a yucky scented candle, or the loose tendrils that fall around your face from a messy bun… or the way you sigh with contentment when resting your head on his shoulder… everything you do becomes beautiful including your inner strength, your wit, your personality and hopes. Then he tells you exactly what speaks to him.
8. He shows affection… He will show affection for you in all the little ways… resting his hand on the small of your back, taking your hand, etc.
9. He's protective of you… He walks on the side of the sidewalk closet to the street. He holds your hand when crossing, he walks with confidence (not arrogance) that no one is coming between you and him when out… he drives carefully and would never put you in harm's way.
10. He desires depth over gloss… Image, stuff, materialism, etc… all the stuff that really doesn't matter… we don't look at what someone owned when they die. We look at who they were. We look at how they loved. When we smile with tender sentimentality at a story in our Facebook newsfeed it's about the couple who is eighty and died hours or days apart, who loved each other to the very end… who were crazy about each other… who had depth… who wanted a meaningful life filled with endless love, peace, adventure and complete transparency and trust. Those are the couples who thrive with long enduring substantial love… who share depth not a shallow and fleeting existence.
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