If you're divorced… or going through the process… you, like myself have hope for all things new… for beautiful things to happen around the next corner… promises for good and for all the sorrows and pain of yesterday to fade away like an old photograph. If you find yourself struggling, here is my hope for you…
I hope so many things for you… some that may happen today, tomorrow, next week or next year. I hope you know the electricity of meeting someone new again… someone that makes you tingle with excitement and yet you feel at ease with… someone with whom you have an unspoken understanding that lets you know you each just "get each other."
I hope you are willing to open your heart to someone and let them in… to let them curl up and know all the nooks and crannies within… the pain, the beauty, the hurts and the joys. I hope you are willing to let them see your love shine outward… that they see how much love you have to give.
I hope you push your doubts away and know what whatever rules or limitations you've set on love… whatever restrictions of this or that you've found yourself setting or maybe not even realized… know that someone above is ready to prove you wrong… to show that yes, love can be yours and that you don't have to subscribe to a life without someone special to share it with.
I hope you wake up one day to someone's heartbeat against your back… beating in sync to yours… whispered breaths on your ear and a delicate warmth on your neck… I hope for joyful mornings and sweet romantic goodnights… I hope for a satisfying connection of genuine selflessness between you and the one you love.
I hope you will go to sleep each night with a smile on your lips, divine favor washing over you and heavenly dreams as your head rests atop your pillow. I hope you can sleep well knowing that who lies beside you loves you with their whole heart…. their entire body and soul. I hope you can rest knowing you have nothing to fear and your battles are already won.
I hope you will be surrounded with those who remind you that you are lovely, you are brave, you are beautiful and they show you each day how truly irreplaceable you are. All those voices within that have beat you down during this process of change will fall away and be replaced with truths… I am worthy. I am His. My hope is you will be transformed.
I hope that whoever you're with one day knows you like the back of their hand in a world that struggles to know anyone… I hope that you are protected and sought after in a way that's best for you… I hope you are known like the tune of a familiar sweet melody and prayed for without hesitation.
I hope you will forgive the past but not ever forget what it's taught you or what has been done. I hope you can take those lessons and use them to make the next chapter better and brighter than the last.
I hope the person who will one day walk beside you will also walk in truth, in bare vulnerability and grace. I hope they use their power for good… for lifting up not pushing away or hurting.
I hope for strength on the days you want to give up and patience when you want to hurry. I hope you admit when you're wrong, hold back what could wound and share what you love. I hope you have wisdom and rest when life is challenging you beyond your limits.
I hope you remember that God is directing your steps… He is with you the entire way… guiding your path, taking your arm, carrying you when needed… cupping your chin with love when you forget who you are.
I hope you will never forget that love, sweet love is always worth it. Because with love comes the awesome ability to be yourself… to be you. The you that God knows and loves. May I remind you to always always be yourself… never try to hide who you are. There is someone in store for you that will love you for you.
I hope you always see God for who He is… a beacon. A beacon of hope in a fallen, often dark world… beckoning you to Him. He has wonderful things in store for you… fret not… He's here, He knows… and He's listening to the silent song that plays in your heart… one of hurt, maybe betrayal, rejection and pain… He hears every note and He's ready to play a new one… of sweet, sweet glorious victory.
© gps-gracepowerstrength.blogspot.com ~ 2014
When you go about your day have you ever noticed how many people have poker faces?
I would be willing to bet quite a few. It seems as though when I'm out and about during my day that often people are visibly surprised when you smile at them. Then once the fleeting surprise has passed a smile is returned by them. So often it's that we go about our days in a blur, not really noticing the details… the people around us. We go through the motions of saying things like "Hi, how are you today?" and if you live in Texas "Oh, this weather is crazy, huh? One day it's ninety, the next it's raining and seventy degrees." We admittedly go about our days with these standard sayings not really connecting with anyone.
But what we really crave is transparency and authenticity. What you've been through. What your hopes are. What you've struggled with. What makes your voice crack with emotion. What you want to see change in the world for the better. It's these conversations that are meaningful… that are real and what helps us all connect… that makes our differences seem not so different and bridges the gap between assumptions and truth.
And yet… it's so often that we hide… we edit ruthlessly… we cringe…
hoping people will like what they see…
us, the tidy package we may present for the outside world to see.
But it's not just out in the public, in the world that we do this… this edited dialogue may be what is happening at home… with our loved ones, our families, our spouses. Has your spouse or your child become a stranger to you? Do you wish you were connecting better? Maybe you yearn inside for a closer bond and yet the words escape your lips of what on earth to say. Maybe you settle for a hug and the comforting silence between you… and some days that satisfies… just physical closeness, the warmth of someone else. And yet… perhaps there are days you wish for more.
People today are hungry for connection.
When we open up and share our innermost thoughts, our fears, our, past, our struggles… they no longer hold any power over us… and it enables us to connect to others on a deeper level.
Learning Something New Even In Our Marriage…
As time goes by in our marriage we may believe we already know everything about our spouses. We may finish each others sentences, we may know their favorite foods, how they take their coffee and what they prefer in bed. We may certainly know a lot but there is always the chance we could learn more… something new and unexpected.
Maybe there's something new to learn about our children as well… they are rapidly changing as they graduate from grade schooler to pre-teen and grow through the teenage years… their likes and dislikes are constantly evolving… what they dream of doing one day, their beliefs, their goals, etc.
Here is a list of thirty questions to ask the person you love, to get to know them better… maybe for someone you just started dating… or even your sister, mom, or bestie. You may already know (or think you do) the answers to some… but maybe some will be a surprise.
1. Describe your perfect day.
2. What makes you cry?
3. What are you most grateful for?
4. What super power would you want to have?
5. What do you value most in friendship?
6. What's the worst thing that's happened to you?
7. What is your favorite memory?
8. Complete this sentence: I really want to ______ with _______.
9. What is your most embarrassing moment?
10. What do you not find funny?
11. What have you not told someone that you know you need to? Why haven't you?
12. What is your definition of success?
13. What was your last prayer?
14. When you blow out the candles on the birthday cake do you make a wish?
15. Describe a happy moment and what song was playing.
16. If you could go anywhere in the world right now where would it be?
17. What worries you?
18. What impact do you want to leave on the world?
19. What behaviors are you unwilling to tolerate?
20. What is your biggest accomplishment?
21. What makes you smile?
22. When did you not speak up and wish you had?
23. What was the last bible verse you read?
24. Would you do anything differently if you knew no one would judge you?
25. What is your biggest fear?
26. What is your biggest hope?
27. What do you thank God for the most often?
29. What is your favorite mental snapshot?
30. What's the kindest thing you've ever done for someone?
© gps-gracepowerstrength.blogspot.com ~ 2014
The pinky promises.
The friendship bracelets.
The endless photos.
The shared dress up clothes.
The pajama parties.
The inside jokes.
When your little girl announces she has a best friend you are naturally going to be excited for her. Maybe you reminisce about your first best friend… maybe years later she's still your best friend. There are many wonderful things about having a bestie, no doubt. There are endless pluses to your daughter having a close friend to share special experiences and to make memories with she will fondly look back on one day.
As a mother you want the best for your daughter and that includes friendships that are healthy for her. One great thing about your daughter having a bestie is that she will not only learn so much about her friend but also herself.
The Importance Of Sharing…
It's important that your daughter and her bestie share the spotlight. They should be able to take turns in allowing each other to shine and one not taking over. It's important they encourage turn taking whether it be at playing games, playing dress up (choosing to be a princess versus wicked witch) or even just alternating playing with the only scooter on a playdate.
The Reality Of Rejection… and Conversation Starters
Keeping your communication open with your daughter about her friendship is so important… it's vital she has a soft place to go to (you) with any issues that rise up that are drama related. Perhaps there is a third girl at school that your daughter's bestie is talking to about her… then she gets wind of it. Or maybe she attempts to play hopscotch with her bestie and a third girl on the school playground… only to be shunned suddenly by her best friend. These types of scenarios teach your daughter that exclusion hurts… very much so and that the golden rule do unto others as you would want them to do unto you still very much applies even today. To feel rejected by her peers is devastating… especially at a young age. If your daughter is repeatedly being rejected by her so called bestie… it may be time for her to re-evaluate her friendship. There might be a conversation needed where you encourage her to think on her own… to prompt her evaluation of the situation. You can begin that process by asking her these questions:
1. How does it make you feel when she does that?
2. Would you do that to someone?
How would it make you feel knowing you did?
3. What does a best friend look like to you? How does she behave?
4. If a best friend does something mean should she say she's sorry?
5. If she says she's sorry how would you expect her behavior to change?
The Ugliness Of Betrayal… and Importance Of Loyalty
A bestie who talks about your daughter behind her back is not behaving as a best friend should. This is an important opportunity to discuss the meaning of betrayal and let your daughter not only express her feelings about the situation but explore what betrayal by a friend means specifically to her. This is a great time to discuss with your daughter the importance of loyalty… not being two-faced and to set healthy boundaries. It may be good for your daughter to realize that confrontation doesn't have to be a bad thing… she can confront her friend regarding her gossiping, listen to her response and state her feelings. It's important that we teach our daughters that to confront is not mean but instead the route we take doing it is what really matters. It also can be a chance to realize we may go about it wrong but in that we can also try to make things right. Ultimately as moms we can teach our daughters that we don't have to take or put up with just anything thrown our way… we always have a choice… we can choose.
Self Esteem... Up Or Down?
If your daughter's self esteem seems to have taken a nose dive during the course of her friendship… it may be time to look at the words her friend uses. Are they uplifting? Are they kind? Are they encouraging? Is her bestie's behavior dismissive? Hurtful? Excluding? Using? Discouraging? If your daughter is feeling left out, if words are making her feel criticized or self conscious and to turn inward… if she's doing the brunt of the school work on a project they are supposed to do jointly… if she's showing anxiety about going to school or withdrawing socially… it may be time to take a long hard look at her friendship.
Encouragement and Love…
When we encourage our daughters to be brave… to ask for what they need in relationships… to state what they expect… to draw the line at behaviors that should not continue… when we model healthy boundaries ourselves and remind her that God doesn't expect her to be a doormat… He doesn't expect her to roll over and be treated poorly… that it is permissible and even okay(!) for her to learn to stand up for herself in a calm respectful manner… then we know as moms we have reminded her that she is worthy, she is dearly loved for who she is… and most of all by God.
© gps-gracepowerstrength.blogspot.com ~ 2014
5 Signs She's A Great Bestie:
1. She loves you for you
2. She believes in you
3. She treats others with kindness
4. She gives not just takes
5. She is trustworthy
Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art….
It has no survival value;
rather it is one of those things which give value to survival.
- C. S. Lewis