My story began in childhood as I was the eldest of three girls and grew up seeing both toxicity and empathy modeled. I would listen from my bedroom door overhearing circular conversations that never found resolution. Hearing the key turn in the front door every evening at 5:30 p.m. led to great anxiety for me. By 17 years old I started having panic attacks. I was struggling. Not understanding what exactly was going on I was also dealing with un-diagnosed ADHD, Dysthymia (depression) and failing algebra grades.

​Buckling under the pressure I left home at 17 and after months of living in a highly dangerous environment that included a rape and attempted rape I returned home to even more anger;  with everything angrily smashed in my bedroom with a hammer, I was sent to live with my grandparents and having to finish high school junior and senior years. I soon embarked on adulthood. I was dealing with complex post traumatic stress disorder and fresh emotions still trying to come to terms with all the toxicity I had endured.

​In hindsight now in my 40's I see I was not equipped at the age of 22 to make a wise decision regarding a potential spouse in dating. Having zero self worth, esteem or self love, these childhood deficits clouded what I believed I was worthy of and I also had been groomed for lacking boundaries or a clear view of what real healthy love looked like. I met a man I began dating and cared deeply for him yet I was so ashamed of my past I didn't share it or my growing feelings for him. Out of frustration he walked away leading me to feel immense long term regret and unfortunately to get married on the rebound to another man I'd dated and had an abortion with I deeply regretted yet still naively held the belief we had a loving friendship. That was in hindsight not true as I was a believer in potential and pushed any red flags I did see away. During the course of my marriage I lost my beautiful youngest sister to her abusive boyfriend... another reason why I am so dedicated in helping other women heal from abuse. 
In 1999 at the young age of twenty two I married a man whom I loved and we had two children; a boy with high functioning autism and a girl. I was the quintessential 1950's homemaker and mom. I believed in the man being the provider while I created a beautiful home, raising children with empathy, nurturing and joy. I believed in the white picket fence, the garden I tended, the cakes I baked. I was idealistic, believed in potential and a romantic. I believed in love and that no matter what problems we may have had we could as a team overcome them. I believed in keeping vows for better or worse and living happily ever after. 

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So in 2012 I found myself facing a very life changing circumstance. I was filing for a sudden divorce after 12 years of marriage upon discovering my husbands infidelity. As the divorce progressed I was also needing to recover from years of emotional trauma, a child custody battle, fighting my eldest estranged, navigating a family court system I knew nothing about and a very bleak financial outlook. Needless to say I was extremely overwhelmed. That was me. At times feeling like a failure even though my inner voice and God kept saying my worth was not tied in my current circumstance. At times my faith was strong. Other times I felt like I was literally hanging on by a thread. Admittedly there were times I even shook my fist at God. How did I persevere? By the grace of God I was given the power and strength to keep pushing forward and recover. I also realized I lacked grace and self compassion for myself that was long overdue. I am now recovered from narcissistic abuse and today stand in triumph living my life with peace, freedom and joy. 
​I learned that merely surviving is no way to live. Through concerted steps in personal development and post NPD abuse recovery I put my visionary skills to work and began actively creating the life I wanted. I no longer wanted to be plagued by overwhelming trauma, anxiety and depression predominantly due to my dire circumstances. I no longer wanted to cry in my pillow which I dare say had sadly become an almost daily occurrence.
What I did want was a beautiful life I could be proud of and thrive not just survive. I wanted to inspire other women and men struggling post abuse that wanted to know the steps to take to live well. I initially started my blog and website gracepowerstrength.com to share my story regarding struggles with divorce, navigating child custody litigation, hiring and firing five attorneys, going pro se and healing from emotional abuse.  Sharing my experience led me to giving others insight in how to recover from their toxic relationships over the past seven years. My website quickly grew into a huge following of over a million views worldwide, and that has now led to helping others live life WELL post abuse. I have personally found the ten tips below to be vital in living well post abuse. 


10 Tips To Help Live Well Post NPD Abuse: 

1.) Keeping boundaries in place with unhealthy toxic ex spouses, go no contact if no children are shared. 
2.) Keeping the communication you have with your ex non-emotional in shared parenting to not give them any supply to their ego. 
3.) Going no contact with those who have shown through their actions they are a threat to our mental health even if they are family. 
4.) Ensuring we are having open loving communication with our children so they feel heard and understood. 
5.) Practicing mindfulness and living present while learning from the past. 
6.) Putting into action making healthy choices that translate to self care such as eating healthy, exercise, enjoying nature and relaxing. 
7.) Finding online support for healing from narcissistic abuse and friends in real life who can relate or at least have empathy. 
8.) Living life to the fullest and living new experiences or taking up old hobbies we once enjoyed. 
9.) Stopping to smell the roses and enjoy the little things: fresh cut or store bought flowers, scented candles, a good book, taking photos etc. 
10.) Maintaining our finances well, going back to school or finding new ways to earn more if finances are limited. 



​I have been very blessed post divorce to have the support I've had. My mom is my best friend and I have long term friends that I've known since I was a teenager. I grew up in Texas but my dream would be to live in Santa Barbara California, write books poolside that give clarity and healing regarding narcissistic relationships and continue to coach and advocate for survivors. The emotional abuse I endured in my marriage was horrific and I wish it had never happened. In my healing process and personal growth I now know who I am despite the gas-lighting; kind, nurturing, positive and hopeful. I personally am able to have joy in Him despite so much endured and knowing He has been with me every step of the way. I have gained insight into who I am and now hold tightly to my self worth knowing I am worth more anything negatively said or done toward me. I would say to you today to remember you are worth so much more than what you've been through.



Yes, you are a survivor ... but you are so much more than that! You are meant to be a thriver and deserve every happiness and healing that life has to offer. Recovery looks beautiful on you. I can help you get to a better place. I offer individualized 1:1 support sessions to those leaving and recovering from any relationship with a narcissistic personality disordered individual. You can book a one on one support session by clicking the link here . All support sessions are confidential. You deserve to be more than just a survivor but a thriver. Also be sure to follow me on Instagram where I post daily grams and stories! 


See you there!
Love,
Jen 
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To reach Jennifer you may contact her via her professional email at jennifer@gracepowerstrength.com 
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gracepowerstrength P.O. Box 101332  Fort Worth, Texas 76185