Dear Daughter… An Open Letter To My Little Girl

Dear Daughter,

Hey, it's me…. you know… your mom? I just wanted to write you a note and tell you how incredibly proud I am of the young lady you are growing up to be. You are well on your way to becoming the strong young woman you will be one day. You've had a rough start and I know it hasn't been a picnic. Believe it or not… I was little once too and know plenty about rough starts. And yet I know with those rough starts there is victory waiting for you.

I know you didn't realize you were going to be introduced at such a young age to allergies and epi-pens and yet you have persevered. I know you weren't prepared for ADHD testing and not getting a sister like you wanted so badly. I know you didn't anticipate your family home being divided into two separate homes one day… and yet you have kept pushing forward. I know it's hard for you to vocalize how you feel and yet I'm proud of how you occasionally take the chance of letting those walls down and sharing your thoughts. I love it when you speak up on behalf of others like when someone in the school cafeteria at lunch begins talking about how different another student is… and you reply "Yep, he's different. God made us all different and that's okay." Sometimes we have to speak up... and it's better to speak with a voice that cracks than to keep silent. It's awesome to me that even though at times you may struggle, you come to me and ask what I think (you'll never be too old for that)… and although I tell you "I'm happy to give you my thoughts" I want you to share yours too… because it's important that you are able to think for yourself.

Whenever a boy is being mean to you I begin my round of twenty questions and look up his parents in the school phone directory like a mobster… Who is this kid? Who are his parents? What's his issue? Why's he bothering my little girl? Because I will protect you to no end and any little boy messing with my little girl is not doing it because he likes you as society's backward mentality wants to believe… he's doing it because his father is likely disrespectful toward women and is not setting the correct role model in the home. I won't have you growing up believing that when a boy gives you attention in a negative manner he likes you... reality is he's being a bully. Yes, he needs grace but he needs correction too and his father needs help… this seems to be a common issue today that needs serious attention.

When you look in the mirror I hope you see what I see… a beautiful little girl who has beach wavy hair, flushed cheeks and pretty eyes… I hope you don't see flaws or specks because in my eyes you don't have any… you are perfectly you in every way possible. I hope you know that you are fully capable of your goals and dreams and you can do whatever you set your mind to. I know you get your independent fiery streak from me because I see glimpses of it here and there trying to peek out from beneath your reserved surface. It can undeniably have pros and cons. It's a fine balance being a female… it's a constant battle to embrace some spiritedness and not end up becoming the anti-proverbs 31 woman... there will be days you miss the mark, you push the limits, cringing and hindsight will be 20/20... don't beat yourself up; press on and learn your lessons. I wish success for you and yet not in the form of fancy cars, maids and mansions… but a kind spirit that wants to help others, someone who if they earn more than they could ever need will use it all to help people in need. My wish is for you to always see your great worth in a humble manner and remember God's love for you… I love you but no one will ever love you more than God… no other human can fill that hole within like He can. I know you are adamant you will never ever get married and I could be incredibly selfish and say "Oh, sure you will, I want grandbabies one day"… but I won't. Because it's important that you be yourself and march to your own drum… not some guy's drum only to then wake up one day and realize you forfeited your drum for him to have his… and then to have him say "Sucker" and walk off. What you choose… marriage or not… kids or not… I support you.

I can tell you one of the most important things to be in life is genuine. People love genuine people… who give genuine smiles and emanate warmth from their heart and eyes… and even if by some chance they don't care for you… at least you are being you. The girls who are remembered as being genuine and kind in school were the ones who were nice to everyone. Everyone appreciates people like that… who include others... girl's that don't ensconce themselves into just their click but will reach out to the girl alone in the corner or the boy who dropped his books in the hall… if you're remembered in any way… be remembered as kind… which you are… I see it when you let a classmate borrow a pencil… when you buy your friend popcorn after school on fridays… when you help someone to the nurse to get an ice pack for their knee. The world needs more of that and I value what you do to contribute your part… as the little things are truly the big things.

You always have the right to say no. Saying "No" is not to be seen as mean. Practice it every day because it will be needed all through your life. Every time I watch the Bachelor and I see these wacky stunts they pull where the girls are expected to jump from the top of a building or take their clothes off for some anti-fur charity…. I want to scream at my television set. Because any "Bachelor" with any decency wouldn't let you take your clothes off, number one. He'd have more respect for you than that… I don't believe it's necessary to undress for a cause… you can volunteer your time or open your wallet just as easily. If you ever feel like you need to jump from the top of a building to "trust a guy" and get a rose, then you're in a mess and you need to phone me immediately and I will come pick your butt up… because that is pure insanity. You shouldn't have to "prove" anything to get a rose, a date, a meal or anything else. And the fantasy suite? You have zero business being alone in anything called a "fantasy" with a guy before marriage. Keep your eye on Jesus and if any man is Godly enough for your hand (and you actually want him) he will show up.

Just remember… always be you… always be content with who you are… jealousy does nothing but breed a never ending cycle of discontentment… be happy with your body, your hair, your smile and personality that God gave you… He doesn't make mistakes. If you want something someone else has… a goal, a career… that has nothing to do with them, so don't resent them for it… that's all you, your issue. So go after what you want, send those prayers up, put in the hard work and extra effort… and always remember this…

I love you with all my might… forever and ever…
and the one who loves you even more is your Daddy Almighty God.

Love you sweet pea,
Mom

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